I define stress as the overwhelming desire to regulate a situation that is beyond the realm of your control.
All my life, I have been a stresser. I think it is just something I inherited from my dad. Whenever I went with him somewhere and he was driving, he always stressed about where he was going to park when he got there. It makes no sense, but after over twenty years living in a city, I still do the same thing. Ask my wife. Sometimes it makes her laugh so hard, she can't control herself. Worse yet, when we get there, I usually end up parking three spots from the front door.
Somewhere along the line, though, I picked up some good advice. Actually, they are just three questions:
One, will anyone die?
Two, will the people who matter still love you?
And three, does it really matter to anyone other than you anyway?
These questions have made finding a parking spot seem pretty irrelevant, but they really apply well to work related issues. Unless you actually have someone's life in your hands, stressing about anything is really pretty silly. Keep life simple and don't place undue importance on things that just don't really matter. Most of all, no matter how good you are, accept the fact that you will occasionally fail and just do the best you can.
-dane
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when we train in the simulator we are deluged with every emergency and equipment failure that has happened in the airplane or could happen. it's pretty intense but the crusty old instructor has a saying. "wind your watch" he says when all is going to hell and we are trying to correct the problem. what he means is, slow down, take a minute and think about it. nothing is happening that is going to kill you in the next instant. far better to take time and make the correct action than hurry and dick it up, creating more problems.
seems to work in life too, take a deep breath and think about it for a second.
I've been told by my "energy intuitive" that I should do my best in the moment and not worry about what happened before or what happened after. Have you tried it? It's very hard! I find my mind racing into the past and future like a race car!
As for parking spots, though, I'm always smug about taking the far-away ones. I figure those other idiots either got there really early (when I was probably still in bed) or they drove around and around stressing out about where they were going to park (Dane, you're not an idiot). Instead I just take something in the back and enjoy my walk to the door, which is especially nice if it's not 40 below!
Stress causes all kinds of health issues, as well it as can make you fat! Stay away from stress - breathe -- and you'll live a longer, happier life!
Mostly, your very last statement intrigues me. Isn’t an occasional failure a success in disguise? My first thought is that something must have happened that upset you.
I always say that the only failure is not trying, and I think that applies to anything or any aspect of life. Occasional failure indicates to me that a person is thinking beyond their normal routine; out of the box, so to speak, willing to take a risk, whether at work or domestically. Sometimes, trying to better a situation entails a risk, which may end up as a “failure”. But, that “failure” can eventually lead to something as brilliant as a breakthrough in medicine, or as minor as saving 10 minutes of time in completing a mundane routine office task.
“How can I make this better?” Sometimes, it doesn’t work. Is that a failure? Or, is failure not trying something because it might not work? What if it did work and bettered the situation, and you didn’t try it? Isn’t that failure?
Is failure more of a personal label that we place on our egos than a reality? An inability or unwillingness to look at things as ‘gray’; only in ‘black’ and ‘white’? That something is only a ‘success’ or ‘failure’ on its face? We can be very hard on ourselves.
You know what I'm trying to say. Don't be too hard on yourself, friend.
Oh, I should also say that I'm having my Friday afternoon martini, and I'm kind of fat. Does that mean I'm stressed out? I don't FEEL stressed - I just feel fat with warm cheeks.
Budsy- You're dead on, as usual, (especially after your Friday martini).
I love the subject of failure, or more accurately, the fear of failure. Most times that is the ONLY thing keeping us from achieving what we want. I think that subject deserves another post down the line.
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