Why are people so obsessed with Tiger Wood’s infidelities? Sure, it’s hard to turn your head away from a train wreck, but why? In large part, we tend to measure ourselves by the actions of others. We watch someone go down in flames -- especially if they seem to have it all -- and we feel a bit better about our own miserable existences.
I tend not to watch the news, so I have been able to stay away from most of the sordid details. With that in mind, my thoughts on the topic are pretty limited.
When the story broke, one of my friends made a post on Facebook about how disappointed she was with Tiger’s discretion. Another friend commented that Tiger’s wife should have seen it coming. After all, Tiger is famous and his wife obviously must be a gold digger and couldn’t have been so naïve. Tiger must have women throwing themselves at him constantly, he argued, and no man could resist that constant temptation. I have never been rich, famous, or that good-looking, so I guess I will never know.
I think many people overlook the obvious nugget in this story, though. It is the question of integrity. Tiger’s mistake wasn’t that he was sleeping around on his wife -- if people want to have a open marriage, that’s their business -- it was that he didn’t have an honest conversation with his wife going into the marriage. Granted, people can also have a change of heart during their marriage (I speak from personal experience on that one), but Tiger was too small of a man to have an honest conversation even then.
If Tiger wanted to sleep around, he should have been man enough to tell his wife, allowing her to decide whether she wanted to stay with him or not. Tiger should have been honest with her. The value of honesty doesn’t change just because fame and a large bank account are involved. If you don’t respect the most important person in your life, how can you respect yourself? And without self-respect, where is the integrity? In the toilet.
Most people think the opposite of honesty is dishonesty. Really, the more accurate antonym is chicken-shit. People who are not honest are scared -- scared of the consequences that honesty may bring. True alpha males aren’t scared. Even with all he has and all he is, Tiger was a chicken-shit. I guess that just makes Tiger another beta.
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2 comments:
You make a good point about the need for honest conversations in relationships. And I think you answer your own question about why the obsession: integrity.
I've never really found Tiger THAT interesting, but I think a lot of people saw him as a man with integrity. When some athletes/performers/politicians/etc. get caught cheating or behaving in otherwise dishonest ways, it's not surprising. In fact, we expect it from a lot of them. The Tiger obsession, I suspect, is because we just didn't see it coming. He was a role model — someone who seemed to have his priorities in order. Yes, talented and famous and rich, but also, a good person. When a role model succumbs to base temptations, it shakes us. Maybe for some, it's a chance to feel better about their own "miserable existences," as you suggest. But for others, I suspect it's a reminder that anyone can falter. That we all need to work at relationships and we need to make choices in our lives. It's a reminder that no one's perfect ... And it's a chance to ignore our own misgivings for a while as we focus on someone else's.
Of course, not that it's any of our business in the first place ... but that's a completely different subject.
I remain a lot more interested in his golfing ability than his love life!
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