Changes

So, I received an e-mail not very long ago titled, ‘Changes’, and it was very appropriate, not only for what was going on in their life, but for what has been going on in my life, too.

Physically, this past year has been kind of a downer for me. I really don’t mind getting older, but I’m at odds with what is happening to me physically. I’ve always been in pretty good shape, and I’ve never had to work terribly hard to keep it that way. I’ve been very, very spoiled. Not so much anymore. Payback is a bitch, as they say. And, I’m having a more difficult time with it than I would have ever guessed. I think that once I can get myself out of my funk, I’ll get myself back on track.

There are few times when a divorce is a cause for celebration, but Jeff’s brother is finally divorcing his wife, who is a clinical sociopath. (An interesting psychological illness – there are more of them than you may realize – do a Google search if interested.) Their sick and sad drama has been going on for about 25 years, and thankfully its conclusion will soon be finalized.

My sister’s husband has lung cancer. It is a cancer that is more typically found in the elderly, and few elderly people can tolerate the strong chemo treatments. My brother-in-law is in his early 50’s and is tolerating the treatments very well. The bad thing is that the cancer is in both lungs (not a good sign). Good points are that the cancer has not spread beyond the lungs and the treatment is showing signs of working. He did smoke and it likely contributed to the cancer. However, his family has a hereditary lung disease that is the primary culprit. It has been a very, very difficult last couple of months.

My Dad’s heart is finally, slowly giving out, and my sister told me last week that the doctor said his time is pretty limited. I’m not devastated. Actually, while I’ll be as sad as anyone when he dies, I’ll be happy to know that he is free and young again. I can think of no one – young or old – who could and has withstood what he has. I know I couldn’t have. His eyes have seen much in his 89 years on this earth. He has taught me invaluable lessons about living and dying, and I will miss him terribly when he is gone. But, I know he is okay with it, and, in many ways, is embracing it. To want to keep him here reflects my selfishness. He is an amazing man, and I’m so proud and thankful that he is, and always will be, my Daddy.

There are other things that I could get into, but that is enough. I’m thankful for so many things. I’ve basically lived an unchallenged life. I’m happy that, for the most part, I’m pretty well prepared to handle the adversities that come my way. As stated by a wise soul, I “have a strong foundation when the winds of changes shift.” I do. I have a great faith, a great husband, a great family, and great friends, many who have traveled these paths ahead of me.

It helps make the inevitable changes a little softer and easier to handle.