Funeral Plans

Mom passed away yesterday afternoon while in hospice care in Billings, Montana. She was 80 years old.

The funeral is going to be in Karlstad, Minnesota on Thursday, January 3rd, 2008.

This has been a difficult month for me, but as always, there were lessons to be learned. I have come to appreciate "moments" big and small. While spending a week with mom during her last days, I had a brief moment of clarity. Happiness doesn’t come from searching for perfect moments, but from finding the beauty and joy in every situation and in every day.

Through this, I have also come to realize how important my family and friends are. I thank you all for the support you have given me. I love you all very much.

...and finally, the only New Year's resolution I am making this year: to spend more time with all of you...

Song of the day: Nothing Lasts for Long -The Samples Live in Colorado

Mom

Tough day today. Mom's condition worsens a little bit every day. Her pain is constant at this point and she has to remain permanently medicated. It probably won't be long before we are unable to have any meaningful conversation with her.

I plan on staying here in Montana until Christmas morning, but am unsure if she will be around that long. I am really not too depressed about it being Christmas, though. Although it is getting difficult to sit with her for long periods of time, I really would not want to be anywhere else.

I haven't had a chance to buy a single present this year, but that all seems pretty unimportant at this point. Through this all, I have probably never been closer to my family. Priorities tend to present themselves clearly in situations like this.

I wish you all well and hope you find the time to enjoy your families during this busy season.

Cancer

I know I have disappeared, but it has been a rough week or so.

Hawaii was beautiful, but the cruise wasn’t too great. I couldn’t recommend Norwegian Cruise Lines. I also get a little bored with locations where everyone speaks English. Not exotic enough, I guess. But all in all, the trip was okay. The real spoiler was when I received news that my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer half way through the week. Therefore, I spent a good portion of my time on the boat feeling trapped and wishing I was somewhere else.

My mom’s situation was not a complete surprise, but that doesn’t make dealing with hospice care and funeral arrangements any easier. She is not expected to be with us too long, but she is still putting up a fight. I will probably stick around the rest of the week here in Montana. It is going to be hard to leave, though, since it will probably be my last good-bye.

It is a sad time, especially since it is the Holidays, but there are always things to be grateful for. I am rediscovering a stronger connection with my family. Also, it is pretty hard to go through something like this without re-evaluating one’s priorities in life. Never a bad thing.

While at the hospital yesterday, a complete stranger walked up to me and asked if she could give me a hug. She said I looked like I needed it. It was pretty cool. I guess making the world a better place doesn't always require a lot of effort, just a little insightfulness.

Hope your Holidays go well. Please help make them great for someone else,too, even if they may just be a stranger needing a hug.

Snow!

I had a chance to travel to our office in Saratoga Springs, New York last week. What a beautiful place. I even got snowed on while I was there. I spent Christmas in Billings, Montana last year, so it is kind of unusual for me to see snow two years in a row. I have to admit, I don't have the same aversion to snow that I used to, probably because I can just "visit" it, then come back to sunny Arizona. Snow does get me in the Holiday spirit as long as I don't have to live in it.

Now for a little change of pace, Jan and I are off to Hawaii next week to see how the Islanders celebrate the season. Since it is only in the 60's and 70's here, it will be nice to be back in my usual apparel, shorts and t-shirts...